"i'm getting older and it's cringe af" it's a multi-media solo exhibition, specifically my first one.
it took place in march 2024 in zurich (at toni areal). it's composed by videos, paintings, poetry,
insllations and audio artwork.
its creation was inspired from the odd feelings i had while moving out from my childhood house, which
coincided with moving out of my parents’. while packing, emptying, moving, i had to get
confronted with reliques of my past: a meeting that transformed slowly into a conversation
with my own 12-years-ago-self. 12 years before the opening (march 2012) coincided with the moment
where i published my (now embarrassing) first youtube video.
with "i'm getting older and it's cringe af", i take the opportunity to explore and
talk with myself, including the viewer in the process, for example by showing
a video where a 2024 version of me reacts to my first video directly on the other side of
the room of a screen with my first upload, trapping the viewer into the conversation. or remaking
a drawing of my class (where everyone says something characteristic about themselves) after 12
years facing an original one. the viewer is then trapped in this physical conversation between these two entities:
the gal of the past and the gal of the present, reacting and conversing with each ther. the artist separates
himself in fragments, sparking a debate of progression, growth and embarassement.
another side of the exhibition takes an opportunity to talk about the past in general, for
example with pieces like “all the times that i broke the roles since march 14, 2012” and “all
the times that i cried since march 14”. stacks of pieces of a4 papers (respectively around 500
and 1) where i, similarly on how bart simpson does at the beginning of each of his episodes,
write repetitive sentences. these installations are connected with each other and take a very
personal themes, touching on the emotional role that a teenager is supposed and not supposed to
do: on one hand the teenager feels the need to break (external) rules: be late, kiss who you are
not allowed to, etc. on the other work, i tell succinctly the story about bullying (that was also
partly caused by the videos) and the consequences it had on me. at the same time, the list of times
i cried is not that much (compared with the rules i have broken). an interesting dichotomy and a
possibility to touch on the more intimate parts of the storytelling.
through artworks such as “today i'm emptying my childhood room” or “a different self”, i introduce the origin and the
theme of the exhibition: a reorder of the present using the scraps (or the treasures) of the past. “today i'm
emptying my childhood room” (2024) is a poem with images discussing unstableness of life through moving out of a
house: tings you have for granted (and with an emotional value attached to it) get destroyed by life going further.
“a different self” (2024) is a video narrating of the feeling of alienation compared to the past self, with specific
references to items i have found in the back of my closet which were important to me as a kid but became forgotten
with time. a reflection on the perceived sense of importance and of evolution.
the exhibition also features a set of 4 paintings, painted on the bases of my own childhood closet. they represent
my relationship with my past self, using the 5 basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust.
i talk about disgust and anger with “the bullies were right” (2024), where i acknowledge the weaknesses of my past self,
drawing me (from my first video) in a derogatory way with the text “the bullies were right” in a mocking red
cursive. words that are provoking and sharp, especially since they come from me directly. this work was also featured in
the 2024 zhdk auction.
happiness is linked with “an ode to all the homework i never made” (2024), a happy remembering of the times where i did not
follow the rules. the brushes follow very choreographic and expressionist movements while the text is a reference to
the sentences we had to write when we forgot to do any german homework (around the same period), the signature (of
my mother) is falsified by me.
sadness touches on a personal story, painted in “if i could go back in time i would stop my mother from crying” (2024),
which despite its themes does still feature warm colours. th sadness touches on a personal story, painted in “if i
could go back in time i would stop my mother from crying”, which despite its themes does still feature warm colours
and expressionist brushstrokes. the painting is inspired by a sad memory that i had around the time that my first
video came out, specifically the first time i saw my mother cry.
i touch on fear with “what do you want to do when you grow up” (2024), an artwork where i show myself talking about
my uncertainties as a developing artist, painting about my impostor syndrome while using new techniques for me, such
as writing on cellophane “you will never know what you are going to be when you grow up” (which deteriorates after
every sentence repeated), or using dense drips of yellow acrylic paint.
the exhibition featured also my own diaries from when i was a kid, where i talk in detail about my day (with
excruciating detail, for example detailing all my meals).
"i'm getting older and it's cringe af", with works and curation by gal.